For women the pressure to provide the perfect Christmas, look perfect, be the perfect hostess, keep their pristine house whilst appearing cheerful can be exhausting. And yet, year in, year out women continue to set themselves high standards, not wanting to disappoint children, partners, family and friends.
Many women set themselves up to be superwoman. They look at their friends who may appear to be in complete control, gifts wrapped, house decorated, everything in order. This compounds the requirement to make Christmas wonderful for everyone, but the pressure often means that they end up feeling weary and resentful. Let's look at ways to ease the heavy burden.
Some thoughts:
- Plan ahead. Decide on a meal plan and prepare as much in advance as possible. Whether or not food is eaten on the assigned day is irrelevant. Having meals readily available to be served with minimal effort eases the pressure, especially if unexpected guests call. Attach the planner to the fridge door so that people can see what is available. That way others can help and tick off each dish as it is served.
- Buy some ready-made meals. Not everything has to be homemade and good quality food is readily available in many supermarkets. A simple addition of chopped herbs or a swirl of cream can make shop bought look homemade.
- Have some relaxed days. People get tired of lavish meals. Make a soup for lunch, lasagne or a hot-pot for supper. Served with crusty bread it is often a welcome change after days of rich, heavy food.
- Delegate. Some jobs can easily be passed to others. If the table isn't set exactly right, or the wrong wine glasses are used, relax. No one else is likely to notice. Appreciate the input and remember, this is a family occasion. Let everyone feel good at helping and making their contribution.
- Share with a friend. Some people agree to share the effort and expense. They alternate hosting either Christmas Day lunch or New Years Eve dinner. Or take turns to have each other's children overnight. That way the children entertain each other and parents can plan for a day or two's respite from the noise.
- Say 'no' sometimes. People may enquire to see if you want to do something, have friends round for supper, go somewhere. If you are tired or want a night off politely decline. There's no reason to feel guilty about not wanting to participate in everything. Don't forget though, that it's often the unexpected events that turn out to be the most fun. The evenings we don't expect to be good are often the best because we have no real expectations.
- Set aside some 'me' time. Send everyone out to the park, for a walk or to enjoy a game of rounders and then have a leisurely bath, listen to music, read a book. Ensure that favourite television programmes are set to record, so that they can be enjoyed when you have some free time at a later date.
- Let others help. Often guests are happy to bring a dish with them, wash up, tidy round. Let them. There is no merit in being a weary martyr.
And remember, it is often the mishaps, the times that didn't go quite to plan that people recount later with amusement and affection.
Many women set themselves up to be superwoman. They look at their friends who may appear to be in complete control, gifts wrapped, house decorated, everything in order. This compounds the requirement to make Christmas wonderful for everyone, but the pressure often means that they end up feeling weary and resentful. Let's look at ways to ease the heavy burden.
Some thoughts:
- Plan ahead. Decide on a meal plan and prepare as much in advance as possible. Whether or not food is eaten on the assigned day is irrelevant. Having meals readily available to be served with minimal effort eases the pressure, especially if unexpected guests call. Attach the planner to the fridge door so that people can see what is available. That way others can help and tick off each dish as it is served.
- Buy some ready-made meals. Not everything has to be homemade and good quality food is readily available in many supermarkets. A simple addition of chopped herbs or a swirl of cream can make shop bought look homemade.
- Have some relaxed days. People get tired of lavish meals. Make a soup for lunch, lasagne or a hot-pot for supper. Served with crusty bread it is often a welcome change after days of rich, heavy food.
- Delegate. Some jobs can easily be passed to others. If the table isn't set exactly right, or the wrong wine glasses are used, relax. No one else is likely to notice. Appreciate the input and remember, this is a family occasion. Let everyone feel good at helping and making their contribution.
- Share with a friend. Some people agree to share the effort and expense. They alternate hosting either Christmas Day lunch or New Years Eve dinner. Or take turns to have each other's children overnight. That way the children entertain each other and parents can plan for a day or two's respite from the noise.
- Say 'no' sometimes. People may enquire to see if you want to do something, have friends round for supper, go somewhere. If you are tired or want a night off politely decline. There's no reason to feel guilty about not wanting to participate in everything. Don't forget though, that it's often the unexpected events that turn out to be the most fun. The evenings we don't expect to be good are often the best because we have no real expectations.
- Set aside some 'me' time. Send everyone out to the park, for a walk or to enjoy a game of rounders and then have a leisurely bath, listen to music, read a book. Ensure that favourite television programmes are set to record, so that they can be enjoyed when you have some free time at a later date.
- Let others help. Often guests are happy to bring a dish with them, wash up, tidy round. Let them. There is no merit in being a weary martyr.
And remember, it is often the mishaps, the times that didn't go quite to plan that people recount later with amusement and affection.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.
Further help, advice and articles on this and associated subjects are available.
Further help, advice and articles on this and associated subjects are available.
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